Do you feel you’re not good enough at what you do? Is your shyness or insecurity preventing you from getting you to where you want to be? Do you want to learn how to become a confident queen?
Growing up, I often felt like everyone was judging me. I felt like I was ugly, not talented enough, and not cool enough to hang out with other kids.
This transferred into my adult years when I went to college and to work. I wouldn’t raise my hand out of fear that my answers were stupid.
Then I realized how everything was all in my head. Once I learned to love myself, I became more confident and changed my whole mindset.
That is when I started attracting so many other confident and good-hearted female friends. I was able to get very far in life because I conquered my top toxic thoughts.
You can have this life too! Learn how to become a confident queen below!
1. Do something to get out of your comfort zone every day.
You can’t get confident if you don’t make the effort to get out of your comfort zone. To become confident, you need to face new challenges and not quickly give up when things get hard.
I’ve made it a routine to get out of my comfort zone every day. It’s become a habit so I don’t feel too overwhelmed when I face a new challenge like other people.
I fail a lot to the point it doesn’t phase me and I keep going until I win. I’m more uncomfortable with the thought of giving up than the thought of losing.
It’s my curiosity and my ambition that boost my confidence and my determination to get the job done.
2. Approach everything with a growth mindset.
Everything in life can be learned. All of the people you look up to were beginners when they first started. Many of the top wealthy people have started in average positions before reaching success.
You have to think of life as like a game. All game characters can win, but you have to believe in yourself and start training to beat the game.
You have to level up with new skills. If you think and believe you are going to fail, you most likely will and won’t focus on how you can improve.
If you equip yourself with the right tools and keep pressing try again, you will get there eventually.
3. Spend a lot of time alone, reflecting on your baggage and find ways to clean it out.
This one really worked for me! I reflected a lot on my life and where my self-limiting beliefs were.
I then told myself I’m going to tackle these issues head on until they are gone! Most people know of some of their baggage but never dive in too deep to change.
To defeat your insecurities, you have to defeat your baggage. You must get to the root of it to completely remove it. Don’t put a bandaid on it because it will keep being a problem.
You will not be able to get rid of all your flaws and be 100% perfect, but you should always work on becoming the best version of yourself.
4. Learn power poses and stop slouching.
Standing up tall and making sure you have good posture is so important to feel more confident. Don’t slouch and put your head down looking shy.
Face yourself in the mirror and create a better posture. It will help you to look more confident to others even if you don’t feel that way.
You don’t know how many hours I’ve spent working on my walk and presentation skills in my mirror. It helped me to be able to confidently speak my mind in job interviews.
And I mean 60 – 90 min job interviews! When I had better body language, my job interview experiences were much better! It helped me to become a confident queen.
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5. Tell yourself constantly that you are beautiful, intelligent, and doing amazing.
What we tell ourselves is what we start to believe. Even if you feel like it won’t work, try to talk to yourself like how you would encourage your best friend.
You ARE your own best friend. This is the habit that I implement EVERY single day to boost my confidence.
Fake it until you make it. For the longest, I thought I wasn’t pretty and hated looking at myself in the mirror until I forced myself to look in the mirror every day.
I told myself what I loved about myself like I love my eyes the most. And so I chose to focus on what I love about myself the most instead of focusing on what I dislike the most.
There are so many pretty traits with every single person, but we always focus on what we hate about ourselves. No one is perfect and even the prettiest people feel insecure about something.
Just focus on your best traits and start to love every part of yourself.
6. Start your day with empowerment through playlists, quotes, and videos.
Every time I have a toxic thought that I can’t get rid of, I listen to a playlist to combat it. Repetition can be so helpful in boosting your confidence.
Every morning, I start my day with a women’s empowerment playlist that I created myself that addresses everything I love about myself and everything that I feel insecure about.
I play songs of what I aspire to be like and start saying I am this type of person until I actually did become the type of person that I dreamt of.
I also follow a bunch of YouTubers who give me guidance on how to become a better person overall and really love who I am. I have so many playlists to help me become a confident queen and you should have some too!
7. Take yourself on solo dates where people are usually in groups.
What helped me to become more confident was that I spent a lot of time going to places by myself in South Korea and San Francisco where people normally go to places with other people. I was the ONLY person by myself and I had so much fun!
At first, you’ll be self-conscious, and being uncomfortable is important for growth. Over time, you’ll start to care less and less about what other people think and focus only on what makes you happy.
Whenever I wanted to go somewhere and had no one to go with, I just simply booked my activities and went by myself. Others were so shocked that I would do so many things alone and be completely comfortable with unpredictable situations that happened along the way.
As a first-time solo traveler, there will be a lot of things you run into that could be stressful. But the fact that I had to deal with it alone and overcame it, gave me that extra confidence boost.
8. Keep learning and sharpening your skills.
The source of a lot of our insecurities is feeling like we are not competent enough. You can become a confident queen if you’re constantly learning and improving your skills!
I like to research what others that I have to compete with know and what they don’t know, then I start learning both.
Anything that I push to the side as too difficult to learn, I stop and tell myself that nothing is impossible. I can learn anything I put my mind to.
I pick up a book or watch a video and start learning. The key here is to START and the rest is the determination to see the project through completion.
For me, blogging is really hard. But when I see so many bloggers like me that struggled at the beginning and were successful in the end, it gave me that extra determination that I can do it too!
9. Practice public speaking and never say that you’re nervous.
As soon as you say you’re nervous when speaking in front of others, people who didn’t even notice will start looking for signs of nervousness.
This is something I learned in my speech class during my college days. Most people will not notice if you have anxiety of speaking in front of a crowd until you point it out.
Before a speech, always practice everything you are going to say and let it flow naturally. The key is being passionate about what you are speaking about and practicing a lot.
10. Surround yourself with other Confident Queens
You are who your closest squad of friends are. If they feel insecure about themselves, you’re more likely to too.
Hang around people that energize you and make you feel good about yourself. Search for friends that will not be jealous of you, but will fix your crown when you fall.
Women that empower women are the best friends. There should be no toxic competition and jealousy.
What move are you going to make to become a confident queen?
Love this article. Was feeling down today and this uplifted me. Thanks Jamari!
Glad it uplifted you! Thanks for reading Joleen!