Do you wonder if your relationship is toxic or how to spot bad traits to prevent yourself from getting in a bad relationship? With practice, you will learn how to spot the early warning signs of a toxic relationship.
It’s so important to avoid wearing rose-colored glasses and actually observe the person’s traits. Most people will show you the type of person they are upfront.
Pay attention to their actions just as much as their words.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is when one or both partners treat the other poorly and it continues that way. There is often a lack of boundaries which leads to one or both of their needs not being met.
This can include a roller coaster of ups and downs in emotions in the relationship. One moment the relationship is going well and the next it is a disaster.
Some of the impacts of being in a toxic relationship
- Lack of sleep
- Negative impact on your other relationships
- Difficulty to focus on life responsibilities
It’s best to learn how to detect a toxic relationship before things get too serious early on. People are highly likely to stay with someone over the fear of losing them than to choose their own happiness.
Later on, after the breakup, their biggest regret was not leaving sooner after all the damage to their mental health and self-esteem was done.
13 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Everything seems too perfect
If they are only showing you their best sides and it seems like it’s straight out of a romance movie, don’t rush things. You have to wait to see how they handle difficult situations.
Take your time in your relationships and avoid wearing rose-colored glasses. It usually starts off as extremely passionate, you feel an overwhelming rush of emotions and want to be around the person so much that you overlook the red flags.
They aren’t over their ex
If someone isn’t over their ex, they are more likely to be hot and cold with you. You want to be with someone who can fully show up and isn’t daydreaming about getting back with someone else or constantly complaining about their past relationship.
They might also compare your relationship to their former one. It would not feel great if they said the other person was better than you at certain things. They should be completely over their ex.
A big warning sign is if they have a strong reaction to when their ex is mentioned.
They make excuses for everything
Every time you bring something up about their bad behavior, they come up with some lame excuse instead of acknowledging that they were wrong. They keep brushing off their bad habits.
It can be really difficult to solve any issue with these types of people when they are not willing to work on their baggage.
They are too clingy
When they aren’t giving you your independence to live your life sometimes and constantly want to be around you that it starts to interfere with your friendships is often a bad sign.
It’s healthy to have some time to spend alone, with friends and with family. Your family and friendships are important too.
When they are in and out of your life
It’s better to be single than deal with someone who can’t make up their mind or won’t fully show up for you. Don’t accept half effort and don’t try to keep them in your life.
Let them show themselves the way out the door. Your job is not to beg them to come back. If you keep accepting them back, they will run all over you thinking it’s something you will continue to accept.
They constantly overstep your boundaries
Respect is a two-way street. Don’t let anyone constantly run over you and accept it. If you already talked about your boundaries, and they keep ignoring it, that is very selfish behavior.
You deserve someone that is willing to treat you well. Have your set boundaries and stand by them.
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They are not honest
A person who lies in the beginning will likely continue lying as the relationship goes on. You want to find someone who is transparent in their motives.
Trust is an important factor in a long-term relationship. If you can’t trust each other, you’ll constantly be suspicious of what they are doing behind your back.
Their jealousy interferes with your life
When someone is excessively jealous in the beginning, that is a common early warning sign of a toxic relationship.
This could include them going through your phone checking your messages without your permission, getting mad when you don’t answer your phone right away, trying to tell you what to wear, etc.
When it’s all about them
If someone has narcissistic traits, run far away as fast as you can. These people will make you feel like you’re the one at fault for their issues.
They will point their finger and put all the blame on you in arguments. Your needs won’t be taken into consideration and it will be like you have to walk on eggshells to not make them upset.
They have too much baggage
If their baggage is too much for you to handle at the start, it might become more stressful later on. This could include someone with a lot of childhood trauma that is not willing to work through it or go see a therapist.
You cannot fix anyone. They have to fix themselves.
A HUGE sign you might be in a toxic relationship is when you have to keep making excuses for their bad behavior to your friends and family. Don’t try to overlook things that are bothering you.
Address the issues in the relationship early on. The more you ignore it, the worse it will get as the relationship goes on because they think it’s okay.
If someone is not willing to work on their issues, it’s likely not the relationship for you. You’re supposed to both strive to become a better person.
It shouldn’t be one person growing and the other staying stagnant. Leaving a toxic relationship can be hard because you feel if you just try a little bit more, they will change.
People know what they’re doing. You can’t change anyone. They have to be willing to put in the effort. If not, find someone who will.