Do you struggle with being confident and putting yourself out there? Does your fear hold you back from pursuing your dreams and you find it hard to overcome self-doubt?
You’re not alone. According to the American Psychological Association, 82% of people experience imposter syndrome and it’s especially common within underrepresented communities.
Recently, I kept hearing over and over that people with half the amount of skills as you are doing what you dream of doing.
They’re going out there launching that business or working on getting that job you dream of. What makes them different? They just get started, even if they’re scared.
So many people with the skills or potential to be really successful hold themselves back with their own mindset. Tons of people that you look up to have done this.
Often the higher you go, the more you have to put yourself out there. With the extra attention, your confidence will become more important.
While you might not become famous, there will be times where you will be in the spotlight in your community.
Do you want to know how to feel and appear confident during those times?
Self-doubt stems from unrealistic views of yourself
As they say, we are our own worst self-critic. You likely are thinking of yourself harsher than what other people are thinking of you.
Think about all the times you had anxiety that you weren’t going to perform well, but you actually did. It was all just in your head.
Ask your closest friends and/or co-workers what your strengths and weaknesses are. You’ll be surprised that they have a different point of view.
I can relate to this as I have worked on this blog. I thought because of all the job rejections I received over the years, I was not qualified for content marketing positions.
But how many people launch and scale a blog to grow their marketing skills? I wasn’t giving myself enough credit.
Do you focus too much on your failures and not enough on your successes? It’s time to reframe your mindset.
Write down the thoughts that you have that is holding you back
Before you can overcome your toxic mindset, you have to know what exactly is holding you back from moving forward.
Is it fear of people judging you? That you think you don’t have the skills? Or that you don’t know how you can get started?
Write down each thing you can think of to get it all out on paper because you’re going to write what you’re going to do to combat that mindset.
Don’t feel bad if you don’t feel confident immediately. It takes work to overcome self-doubt. It’s not something that you will overcome overnight.
Write down what’s the worst that can happen
While writing down your thoughts, make a two column list. One for what’s the worst that can happen and what’s the best thing that can happen.
This will help you to look more at all the benefits of what will happen if you just do it. Often, the best thing that can happen far outweighs the worst thing that can happen.
You will be able to create a plan to prevent the worst thing from happening. And often the worst thing does not actually happen.
Write down what’s the best thing that can happen
Now write down the best things that can happen and compare it to what’s the worst thing that can happen.
Does it seem that bad to go for what you want to do now?
Don’t you see how amazing it would be to achieve what you dreamed of?
For example, I had insecurities being vulnerable sharing my life with you through these blogs. The worst thing I imagined is that I would get hate comments.
So? Those people don’t know me. And they’re often not the ones that create content. They just hide behind a screen.
Everyone gets hate comments when they create content online.
But the best thing? I help millions of women all over the world build their confidence and transform their lives.
Wouldn’t it make you feel good if you actually achieved your dream and how many lives you impacted because of it?
Sometimes the best thing that can happen is also what you fear
I thought become a Blogger that gets many readers would be great.
But when I started getting a lot of email subscribers and people reading my articles daily, I started to develop anxiety that made me procrastinate.
The thoughts that entered my head were: “My writing is not good. I don’t have the technical skills to make this blog look great. Sharing my story for anyone in the world to read is scary.”
I found that interesting. I never realized that if I’m successful, I would start creating scenarios in my head that I’m going to fail.
Now I have to overcome my self-doubt and stop creating unrealistic ideas. I have to get out of my head and start taking action.
Your imposter syndrome can start with that promotion, that salary increase, getting accepted into a top university, etc.
But what you don’t see is you got there which means you have the skills! You just have to nurture them, build a strong mindset and you can go even higher.
Write down your WHY
Why do you want to achieve this dream? This is the most important thing to reference back on anytime you struggle to overcome self-doubt.
Many people focus on the strategy and keep their head down to work. They forget to look up and reflect why they are doing this in the first place.
Look at where you were and where you want to be. And know that it is possible to achieve it.
Write down your why and frame it. You need to constantly remind yourself so you don’t give up.
Make a list of your long-term and short-term goals
Write down your long-term and short-term plans of how you are going to achieve your why. Every goal you set should be related to your why.
Put your why at the top of every page of your planning documents. Make it your mission statement.
Set specific dates for those goals because you want to go back and see if you’ve achieved them.
I have to admit, I struggle with goal setting because I list so many things that I want to accomplish, but I can’t do it all as one person. I’d need a team.
You have to be very realistic when goal setting. You are at the start of the race, not the end.
When you set realistic goals, you’re more likely to achieve them AND it makes you feel more proud of yourself to keep going.
Don’t try to copy others
Go at your own pace, not anyone else’s. I wasted so much time trying to set my goals and timelines like other entrepreneurs that I became frustrated when I couldn’t work as fast as them.
I copied their daily calendars and tried to create my schedule like theirs. But the way I worked wasn’t matching their work style.
I thought that I had to achieve success by a certain period and when my career path didn’t look like theirs, I felt like I was doing something wrong.
Stop looking at other people and focus on your own journey. What I’m doing now is every quarter, I’m creating a list of my achievements so I can see how far I’ve come.
You will feel more encouraged when you see your own growth. Always focus on growth over perfection.
Shut up, stop oversharing
When you share all your goals to everyone and don’t complete them, you’ll start feeling embarrassed when people ask.
That will lead to even more procrastination because of how long it took you to get started and everyone knows.
When barely anyone knows what you are doing, there’s no one for you to try to impress. It’s just you and your expectations.
You’ll have all the focus without the distractions of people being all up in your business.
If too many people know of your plans, you’ll attract more haters that will try to bring you down. Make the plan, work on it, and people can see the aftermath.
If you want to share with people, make sure it’s only a few supportive people that you trust.
Find a mentor that will encourage you
Choose someone who will build you up rather than discouraging you from pursuing your dreams.
It’s best to find someone that has been in your shoes before because they’ve likely also faced the same imposter syndrome and know how to work through it.
By you staying in self-doubt, you will miss many opportunities for growth. Do you want to stay in this place for another decade or do you want to become the person you always dreamt of?
You’ll be surprised by how much you can accomplish with the right mindset.
If you truly believe you can do it and build resilience, you’ll be unstoppable and overcome your self-doubt.